Traumatic events like terror acts and cyclones need the parents to be prepared to respond to crises in ways that help their children be resilient.
LISTENING is an important way for parents to express love and acceptance and to help children figure out dilemmas. Children react to crises differently, look for clues from them, how they interpret the events, what they need from the adults around them.
It is common for children to have fears based on limited information or from not understanding what they were told about the event. You must first listen to their concerns and ask them how they are doing and how you can be helpful to them.
~Offer young children words to choose from by telling them it's normal to feel sad, upset, or confused.
~Encourage older children and adolescents to ask questions and share feelings. Answer their questions with calm, age-appropriate responses and don't belittle their emotions.
Never force your children to talk, but leave the door open for future conversations that may happen at any time.
It is common for people, young and old, to have a mixture of anger and confusion in the face of disaster. Wherever that anger and confusion is directed, our first response is to listen, not to deny it or try to talk kids out of it.
Adults must be honest about what has happened but spare kids unnecessary or frightening details. Older children will likely ask for and benefit from additional information about the disaster and recovery efforts.
Don't worry about saying the perfect words. Don't feel obligated to give a reason for what happened. It's OK to say you don't know why something so terrible has happened.
Reinforce your child is safe.
The main goal is to reinforce that you and your children are safe. If it isn't clear that you are yet safe, don't lie. Give them honest and brief explanations of what happened and what is being done in response.
Restoring Balance.
If your family has been directly involved in an act of terror, war, or a natural disaster or on the periphery of these crises, a few small things can help children.
As soon as reasonably possible, try to follow old routines because they provide comfort and a familiar structure to a child's daily life. Follow as normal a schedule as possible.
Find ways to help others.
Finally, provide your children with opportunities to help others. Children cope better and recover sooner when they help others because it creates a sense of control and helps children feel better about themselves.
Limit exposure to media.
It is important for parents to limit media exposure in general as it can be harmful for them to see graphic images or sounds. Try to encourage realistic messages of hope and optimism.
Remember...
Children rely on us so heavily to figure out how to interpret dire events and they listen to our words, notice the level of stress that our bodies communicate, watch whether we follow routines, and see whether we change our tone or attitude when we talk to others.
Unfortunately, we cannot protect our children from trauma related to natural disasters, wars, or terrorism. The bottom line for parents is to remain calm and to remind children they are loved and that you are doing everything you can to keep them safe.
All these actions will tell the children that you are there always in any crisis to stand by and support them come back to normalcy.
LISTENING is an important way for parents to express love and acceptance and to help children figure out dilemmas. Children react to crises differently, look for clues from them, how they interpret the events, what they need from the adults around them.
It is common for children to have fears based on limited information or from not understanding what they were told about the event. You must first listen to their concerns and ask them how they are doing and how you can be helpful to them.
~Offer young children words to choose from by telling them it's normal to feel sad, upset, or confused.
~Encourage older children and adolescents to ask questions and share feelings. Answer their questions with calm, age-appropriate responses and don't belittle their emotions.
Never force your children to talk, but leave the door open for future conversations that may happen at any time.
It is common for people, young and old, to have a mixture of anger and confusion in the face of disaster. Wherever that anger and confusion is directed, our first response is to listen, not to deny it or try to talk kids out of it.
Adults must be honest about what has happened but spare kids unnecessary or frightening details. Older children will likely ask for and benefit from additional information about the disaster and recovery efforts.
Don't worry about saying the perfect words. Don't feel obligated to give a reason for what happened. It's OK to say you don't know why something so terrible has happened.
Reinforce your child is safe.
The main goal is to reinforce that you and your children are safe. If it isn't clear that you are yet safe, don't lie. Give them honest and brief explanations of what happened and what is being done in response.
Restoring Balance.
If your family has been directly involved in an act of terror, war, or a natural disaster or on the periphery of these crises, a few small things can help children.
As soon as reasonably possible, try to follow old routines because they provide comfort and a familiar structure to a child's daily life. Follow as normal a schedule as possible.
Find ways to help others.
Finally, provide your children with opportunities to help others. Children cope better and recover sooner when they help others because it creates a sense of control and helps children feel better about themselves.
Limit exposure to media.
It is important for parents to limit media exposure in general as it can be harmful for them to see graphic images or sounds. Try to encourage realistic messages of hope and optimism.
Remember...
Children rely on us so heavily to figure out how to interpret dire events and they listen to our words, notice the level of stress that our bodies communicate, watch whether we follow routines, and see whether we change our tone or attitude when we talk to others.
Unfortunately, we cannot protect our children from trauma related to natural disasters, wars, or terrorism. The bottom line for parents is to remain calm and to remind children they are loved and that you are doing everything you can to keep them safe.
All these actions will tell the children that you are there always in any crisis to stand by and support them come back to normalcy.
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