How to be a good listener

Today's society is full of the noise wave. People are falling victims of all kinds of noises. We are failing more than ever to connect to the other in an effective way. It seems as if a new trend has risen in the society. We seem to love talking more than ever. There is nothing wrong with talking and expressing our thoughts. But we must know that in order to become an effective communicator we should be also a good listener. And when we are talking we are not listening. 

Listening is more of an art than a skill. For effective listening, a person has to be open-minded and be in the moment. His mind should be clear of doubts and judgements. 

Listening can be fun for both the partners. But we naturally think that what we are speaking is interesting and worth hearing while what the other person is talking is rather boring and dull. So we lose focus and vanity creeps in.

The ability to listen effectively can help us with self-clarification. It is no doubt that when we were confused about something like a problem and when we talked it over with our friends we instantly found the answer presenting itself to us.

We may not know but we can learn bits of ourselves by listening to them. They may be talking about their last holidays and how excited they were on the beach but if we listen carefully we may also experience the same feeling of excitement we felt when we went on a holiday on the beach.

Novels are perfect example of stories that teaches about ourselves. We may not know the author personally but what the author is saying seems to connect mysteriously with our own lives. We are all characters of a Universal Book of Humankind where each of us are sharing their individual stories and lives. 

The reason the other person is a bad listener is because we narrate badly about our lives. We rely heavily on facts and the boring things that do not spark the emotional feelings. They are dull and lack feeling. We try to insist rather than explain our feelings to them.

Good listeners are like good editors in a publishing house. They are able to effectively listen, touch on the specific feelings and edit them to understand in a better way. 

In order to become good listeners we should draw them away from the numb feelings and try to explain it in a rather emotional way. We all have the editing skills to become good listeners. By listening we are not hearing their thoughts but we are on the path of knowing ourselves better.